It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (Pt. 1)

Original text:

Charlie Brown: Who are you writing to, Linus?

Linus: This is the time of the year to write to the Great Pumpkin. On Halloween night the Great Pumpkin rises out of his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children.

Charlie Brown: You must be crazy. When are you going to stop believing in something that isn’t true?

Linus: When you stop believing in that fellow with the red suit and white beard who goes ho ho ho.

Charlie Brown: We are obviously separated by denominational differences.

Linus: [writing to the Great Pumpkin] You must get discouraged because more people believe in Santa Claus than in you. Well, let’s face it Santa Claus has had more publicity. But being number two perhaps you try harder.

Lucy: Not again. Writing a letter to a stupid pumpkin?? You make me the laughing stock of the neighborhood. All they talk about is my little brother who always writes to the Great Pumpkin. You better cut it out right now or I’ll pound you.

Linus: There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people… religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin.

Lucy: You’re wasting your time. The Great Pumpkin is a fake.

Linus [again, writing] Everyone tells me you are a fake but I believe in you. P.S. If you really are a fake don’t tell me.